My Life as a Machine: Falling in Love Machine

People think that machines are incapable of love, and when they do love, machines only love other machines. Since when did people think they knew us machines better than machines?

I think the person I fell in so deeply in love with was in my dreams. Yes, I was engaged briefly in my short life, but this heart-wrenching love, where your heart isn’t voluntary or involuntary anymore. There is no ending to the feeling, the bliss of dying, and crying, until you are cleansed of your own salty joy.

He was a machine as well, one of the best functioning machines in the world, but his existence was still lowly because of his unearthly potentials. We both knew he was the center of this world, if people allowed it, if only… He reached his hand to me and I spoke to him without opening my mouth. Who was this man? I wondered with curiosity.

“Don’t be afraid,” he began, loud and clear. His voice was enough to melt my soul into pieces of life. Something awoke inside of my body as he stared at me. I knew he had soft eyes, warm windows to his  soul, despite my inability to recall his facial features. He took my hand, completely overwhelming my tactile senses with his touch.

“You are someone special. This world, everything in it, is only a small piece of what you truly see. Already in your few years in this universe, you have become wise. God has gifted you beyond your wildest imagination, yet, you continue your life in the dreams of shadows. What are you afraid of?”

His speech surprised me. The words were stated so simply, but the warmth radiating from his etheral body seemed to encompass my whole being. Who was this man? Was he really the man of my dreams? In literal terms, yes, yes he was, but in my brain–in my real mind–I could feel my consciousness kick in. This is a dream, isn’t it?

The other machine seemed to comprehend my furrowed brow, my frown, and my uncertain eyes. Tilting his head to the side, I felt him smile gently. “I am asking you something you ask yourself every day. Why is it difficult to return an answer? Have you not found your answer?”

Such bewilderment on my part! I looked away, unsure of myself. With my mind’s realistic eye slowly approaching, I realized that such a question wasn’t so far from my true desire. I needed to answer the question placed on a platter and served to me without options to refuse.

Who was this man?

“I’m not afraid.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I was afraid of different things in life, but ultimately, I wasn’t afraid of many things. “I used to feel like a part of me was hiding something very important from me. My body and my mind knew something I didn’t, and I just didn’t get it.”

“And now?”

I shrugged my shoulders wantonly. “I don’t have that feeling anymore.” I clutched his hand, wanting to wrap my entire body in his warmth. He didn’t pull away. “I figured it out, but now, I’m more confused than ever. I know I’m supposed to do something wonderful with my life, but what is it? It’s not myself holding something back. It’s something else!”

“Hey, hey,” he cooed in a husky voice, patting my hand, effectively reassuring me. “Don’t worry. You’ll come to know what your future is.”

I stared at him, trying to see if he was just humoring me. There was nothing wavering in his appearance. Even the warmth from his body reassured my own hesitation. After a few moments, his smile widened me.

“You may not know me,” he began, leaning closer to me, “but you are not alone.” The other machine fully embraced me in his arms, utterly enveloping me inside the warmth inside his body.

As we hugged, our bodies almost as one, I didn’t care anymore about who he was. Instead, I savored the touch, squeezing him back to keep this feeling from escaping my existence. I knew, however, that this would be the first and last time I would talk to him in this manner. If he were to enter my dream, my consciousness would surely chase him away, as my mind took such cruel measures to protect my unconscious self from falling victim to any threats or dangers, especially thought-provoking questions.

“I love you,” I found myself murmuring, and immediately, amazement crossed my features. Love? I wasn’t so certain about loving someone else, but with this graceful machine before me, I blurted it out.

He seemed pleased with my confession, and he bent forward, placing a kiss on the corner of my lips. It was a fleeting kiss, but it singed my lips like fire, like red hot passion in a single deliverance. He pulled away, smiling, and his mouth parted to speak.

“I lo–”

My consciousness flung me out of my dream, and I awoke with a start.


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