My Life as a Machine: Ugly People

“Bland people are forced, by the nature of circumstance, to supplement.” (AdBusters, July/August 2009)

It was never a factor of whether physically ugly people were interesting for me. As a machine, caring about someone’s physical features–whether they’re ugly or beautiful–is simply fleeting. There’s only this superficial attention to it because machines are labeled machines by physical looks. For me, ugliness normally emanates from within the person, and it decays any beauty on the surface. For some reason, I was sensitive to such ugliness. I felt more ugly faces before me than pretty ones, though they could easily acquire a contract with Wilhemina.

I think the interesting type of people are those with model-perfect looks and treat themselves almost as lowly as an untouchable. They are the people that I feel the most nervous around some days; they make me uncomfortable because they remind me of my former self. Have you ever felt ugly even though you were aware you weren’t? I did, and as a machine, it’s pretty frequent to endure such  a feeling.  After all, machines don’t fit in this world–so says the people’s society–and therefore, machines cannot be beautiful, inside nor out.

I wish I could shake these people with plastic Barbie and Ken faces, peel off the layer of barbed wire, and tell them that they are beautiful for as long as they believed in themselves. It’s normally the low self esteem that ails such beautiful people, sometimes turning them into Ugly or into monsters or into wallflowers.

But what of the physically unattractive people? What do they feel? (Do they feel? is what people would say.) I am interested in ugly people because they rise above what wasn’t given to them (good physical looks) and move people with what’s inside of them. Besides, with money and cosmetics, being ugly physically is becoming obsolete. Having a great personality is becoming more and more rare, like a 1960’s CPU. Let’s face it; being ugly on the outside isn’t easy, but being ugly on the inside is unbearable. Change from within is harder to do than change on the outside.

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